By Niki Ingram
As we roll into summer, the son of one friend is leaving for journalism camp, the grandchild of another friend is off to Normandy for a French immersion experience, and the offspring of others are doing a variety of unpaid internships. I’m excited for these young people who are having a set of experiences that I could never have imagined, and their adventures have caused me to reflect on the summer experiences of my working youth.
I started working during the summer after tenth grade. I was a nepo baby who got a job at the company where my father was in management. This was not an internship, but an entry level position as a clerk processing medical bills. My school life was spent in a series of kilts and knee socks, so I was thrilled to wear “grown up dresses” and heels to work and to get paid to do it! I did learn some substantive things that would be of use in later life, but mainly I learned what it was like to work in the corporate world and what it meant to be accountable in a work environment.
My boss was a woman, at a time when that was rare, and her boss was a woman which was even more rare. They never talked about “what it was like to be a woman in a man’s world” but that’s what they were. They were professional and ran a tight ship. They showed me that a good boss sets clear expectations, leads with positive reinforcement not fear, and is respectful to all employees.
I went to lunch every day with a group of young women who were in their twenties and happy with their lives. Some were single and some were married. Some had children and some did not. They included me in their conversations and were kind. They were also happy with their jobs and planned to stay with the company for their work lives. When I returned the next summer, they welcomed me back into the fold and we continued as if I had never left. This was a wonderful entry into the work world for me.
After I graduated from high school I wanted a different type of work experience. I simply wanted to have a good time. This time, it was my mother who used connections to find me a job. I became a day camp counselor and had the most fun I have ever had working. The counselors were in my age range and just about everyone was in college or on their way. We swam, hiked, and explored the world all day. I learned that little boys and little girls played very differently and reacted to the world very differently. My work life and social life were a part of the whole. I also met the man, who would years later, become my husband, so there was that as well.
My college jobs were very different from the high school ones. My freshman year had been emotionally difficult, and I wanted a break. My mother didn’t agree so she again found me a job—this one was nowhere near as enjoyable as her previous find. I became a credit clerk for a major retailer. It was awful! It was the first and only time that I literally clocked in and out of work. We had a half-hour lunch break and a 15-minute break in the morning and one in the afternoon. There were eight of us who worked at a long table making telephone calls to people who were late on their credit card payments and were generally stressed. I learned about how difficult it was when people were struggling to survive. I also learned that I didn’t like working where there were lots of rules that made no sense to me and that this was an environment that had more structure than I needed or wanted.
I was still working with young women, but these women were very clear that they were marking time until they got married and had children and would become at home mothers. I didn’t understand what motivated them and they didn’t understand why I was going to college and why I was thinking about a career. That said, we coexisted very well, and I found out that everyone doesn’t have to have the same goals and aspirations, but I could not wait to get back to college.
After my sophomore year, I worked as a claims adjuster for a large insurance company in Philadelphia. I had to get up at an obscenely early hour in order to catch my train. This was another job that I got through a parental connection even though I ostensibly “interviewed” for the position. I had no idea what I was doing for most of the summer, yet I was responsible for accepting or denying bodily injury and property damage claims that were the results of motor vehicle accidents. My immediate supervisor was about 15 years older than me and to say she was mercurial is an understatement. I never knew which way the wind was blowing and was on eggshells the whole summer for fear of making a mistake.
We sat in a large open pen where there was no privacy. There was a couple in the pen, who were having an affair while married to other people. They thought that no one knew, but everyone knew, and when they talked to each other on the phone, while they were six rows from each other, it was apparent that they were talking to each other. This taught me that what you think is a secret in the workplace rarely is. Once again, I could not get back to school fast enough. I knew that this could not be my life.
My last college working summer was after my junior year. This job I got on my own as I cobbled together some grants and spent the summer observing sexual assault and murder trials in Philadelphia and was trained to provide support for women who had been raped. A friend from college joined me, and we solidified a lifelong friendship as we prepared reports on our observations and received college credit. I worked at my own pace and set the timelines for my observation times and reports. This was the summer that really propelled me into the legal field.
These summers taught me a lot about myself, most of which remains true. I learned that I thrived when the rules were clear, and I had flexibility. I also learned that I could not stand to be micromanaged, and that I never again wanted to clock in and out. I learned that I never wanted to be on the office grapevine. I also learned that everyone, with whom I worked wasn’t like me and that is OK.
By the age of 21, I knew that it was hard to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and that most of us need some help. Of the six jobs I had only one was obtained without the help of a parental connection, which mirrored the experiences of my friends. I knew what it was like to work for money. I found it interesting that most of the people with whom I worked knew at an early age what their socioeconomic status would be going forward, and they did not have the anxiety of striving for the next thing which I would see in later life.
Would I have loved to go to journalism camp? Yes. Would I love to be immersed in the culture of another country? Absolutely! Would I have liked unpaid internships? Maybe, but I don’t think so. I like the breadth of experience that I had, but maybe the way it is now is better. I guess I will just have to live with the ambiguity.
Niki T. Ingram is co-editor in chief of The Philadelphia Lawyer magazine and president of the Philadelphia Bar Foundation.
