By Niki Ingram
“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt, 1960
I have always loved this quotation by Eleanor Roosevelt and keep a framed picture of the former first lady and the quote on my desk. To me it means that you can’t not do something simply because it scares you. You must push through the fear, whether you want to or not, in order to move forward.
This past fall I used this mantra to help me decide whether I could/would go to Spain and Portugal by myself. There is a wanderlust piece to me, but I have never been sure if it is real or imagined. It certainly existed within a certain structure, but this trip would be different and might let me know which version of me was the truth. I had always wanted to go to Spain and Portugal but had never been to either. Friends of mine were walking the Camino and while I had neither the desire nor the ability to hike with them, meeting them for part two of their trip sounded like fun. The catch was that I hadn’t traveled alone for pleasure on an extended trip for decades. I have traveled with family and friends, done long weekends alone, added on days to business trips and had traveled alone to meet up with tour groups, but being alone for at least a week, in a place where English wasn’t the primary language, was a horse of a different color. The nuts and bolts about getting where I was going was of no issue, but I was concerned about all of the things that could potentially befall me - illness, a mugging, having no one to talk with and what would I do with myself?
My friends were planning to be in Lisbon on a certain date, and the plan was to meet them there for several days, and we would then all travel to Madrid for a time and then come home together. The easy thing to do was to meet them in Lisbon and spend the week in Lisbon and Madrid, but I had never been to Barcelona and always wanted to go there. It is one of my son’s most favorite places in the world, and he had told me that I would absolutely love it. How could I be that close to Barcelona and not go? More recently, I yearned to go to Porto. Again, how could I be that close and not go? To not go to either place would be a total wimp out which would mean that I hadn’t channeled my inner Eleanor, and I knew that I would regret not seeing both cities. The trip became exponentially longer as did the amount of time that I would be alone. Ultimately, I would have two flights alone, one train ride, and three different hotel stays. I was either a true adventurist or not.
My desire to go outweighed any concerns that I had but I planned the trip in baby steps so that I could always change my mind. Except for the flight, everything was refundable, and I did not lock myself into any tours. I took the late flight to Barcelona and went directly to my hotel. I picked international hotels, as opposed to smaller European ones, because I wanted to make sure that English wasn’t a problem, as I speak little Spanish and no Portuguese. This was completely irrational, as I have traveled throughout the world and finding people who speak English is never a problem, but it was a way of managing my anxiety.
I selected my Barcelona hotel based on its proximity to La Rambla, which is one of its most famous streets. What a great decision that was. The hotel was a short walk to La Rambla, which was always busy no matter what time of day or night I was there, and I was literally blocks away from the Hop on Hop off bus. This was my second great decision because it gave me a sense of the city and let me know what I wanted to see and do. Barcelona became my oyster, and the bus was my way around. With a multi-day pass I started every day at the beach sitting alongside the Mediterranean Sea and then popped on and off at different locations depending on what captured my fancy at any given time. I saw the big things such as La Boqueria Market, the Olympic Village and the Sagrada Familia but also saw some sights that I found especially enchanting such as Hospital de Saint Pau which was a medieval welfare house that was turned into a modern hospital complex with beautiful gardens. I was completely at home in my hotel and was able to get thoroughly into the rhythm of the city and fell in love with it. The days there flew by, and I can’t wait to go back.
The transportation from Barcelona to Porto was remarkably easy, and Porto was wonderful. A friend from home texted me that the Porto soccer team was playing one night while I was there and that tickets were reasonable. I was able to get a ticket to the secondary market, and the people at the hotel told me how to take the subway. While I was talking with the concierge about going to the game, I was worried that I hadn’t thought about bringing my clear plastic stadium bag with me. The concierge had no idea what I was talking about, and midway through our conversation I realized that I didn’t need a bag because they don’t have guns, and we do, but I digress. I can hardly describe the fun I had at the soccer game. It was a close game, the stadium was packed, and the excitement was contagious. I speak no Portuguese but was able to sing the Porto fight song. Porto is now my new favorite sports team, and I have the gear to prove that.
While in Porto, I again used the Hop on and off bus to get around and threw in the subway and Uber for assistance when necessary. This time my beach was along the Atlantic Ocean where the waves were stunning. I saw the mosaics of Portugal, some of the vineyards and the many river bridges. The time there flew by much like it had in Barcelona.
Lisbon was only a train ride from Porto. I met up with my friends while I was there, and while I stayed in a different hotel from them, that arrival returned me to a world of familiarity. While Lisbon and Madrid were each wonderful, I was no longer on my own, and that required a surprising bit of readjustment.
What can I tell you about my time alone? I loved it! I was able to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it and how I wanted to do it. I hardly spoke to anyone except if I were in a restaurant or had a question. This was surprisingly easy. I stayed in small hotels where it felt as if they saw me and were watching out for me. I’m not sure if that was true or if I needed to believe it. In Barcelona, when I asked about going to a particular place the doorman recommended that I not go there alone and suggested an alternative. I didn’t stay out as late as I would have if I were traveling with someone else. I ate in restaurants, not just at the bar and was completely at ease. There was nowhere that I felt uncomfortable.
My Spanish is bad, and I don’t speak Portuguese. The only Portuguese I really learned was how to say, “good morning” and “thank you.” While I was in Spain a police officer taught me how to roll my R’s so that what Spanish I have now sounds a bit better than it did before.
The trip was freeing because I once again felt free to travel anywhere. I can always travel with friends and family but if there is somewhere that I want to go and no one else does, I know that I can still go. I am so glad that I did the thing that I didn’t think I could do, and I encourage you to do that as well because when you do it, the feeling is liberating!
Niki T. Ingram is co-editor in chief of The Philadelphia Lawyer magazine and president of the Philadelphia Bar Foundation.
